Not the Same
by Lostie4ever815
Summary: After being pulled from the icy water, Jack Dawson wondered if he would ever find joy in anything again. He spent seven years in America, before heading back to England. There, he got a job as a footman at the large estate of Dowton Abbey, in 1919. But his past wasn't hidden too far. His only allies became Anna Smith and John Bates. The past will come back. Downton/ Titanic. 1919..
1. Chapter 1

Jack Dawson was not a man to play with fate. He took things as they came, and from the moment he met Rose, for once in his life, he had a purpose. But they were separated. He knew then that he would never again hold her in his arms, and he almost regretted not finding her. But after spending seven years going around the country, he knew it was time to head back to England. He arrived just after World War One, in 1919, and somehow found his way to the village of Downton. It was a quiet place, nothing like America. But he quite enjoyed it.

The first time he noticed the advertisement in the paper, he was sitting in the Grantham Arms, finishing a drink. It was an advertisement for a footman at Downton Abbey, the large estate near the village, belonging to the Earl of Grantham and his family. Jack knew he needed a job, so he called the place.

"Hello, Downton Abbey, this is Mr. Carson, the butler speaking." Said a pompous voice on the other end.

"Yes, I'd like to apply for the job of footman that I saw advertised."

"And what is your name?"

"My name is Jack Dawson."

"Are you able to come in on the eleventh of April for an interview?" asked Mr. Carson.

Jack thought for a moment. Today was a Monday, the ninth, so two days. "Yes, sir, I'll be able to."

"All right then, I shall await your arrival at four o' clock. Be punctual, we have a wedding to plan, so you'll have to be discreet."

"Yes sir. Thank you."

Jack hung up, then he went back to his lonely room. Not for the first time, he thought of Rose, his sweet, beautiful Rose. What would have happened if they hadn't been separated? Not allowing himself to think on that, he climbed into bed.

A few hours later, a nightmare woke him. A dream of icy water, and screaming souls. He was sweating, a cold sweat, and his heart pounded. He saw Rose's face before him, clear as day. He shook his head to clear the image from his mind. In a few minutes, he was back asleep.

**xXx**

April 11th came, and with it came his interview. He put on his best clothes, and made his way up to the large house. A blonde maid opened the door for him.

"Hello." He said with a small smile. "I'm here to be interviewed for the post of footman. I'm Jack, Jack Dawson." He held out his hand.

The maid smiled back and shook his hand. "I'm Anna, the head housemaid. I'll take you to Mr. Carson's pantry, he'll be expecting you."

Anna led him down a short set of stairs, down a hallway, and into a small room. "I'll just go get Mr. Carson. You wait here, and don't look so nervous. You'll likely get the job, our other footmen, well…" she hesitated, then left, offering another smile. She was pretty, Jack thought, and hoped she didn't have someone special in her life. A few moments later, he stood as Mr. Carson walked in. His grey hair and dignified stance made him appear confident, but he seemed mildly irritated.

"I am Mr. Carson, the butler. I understand you're here to apply for the position of second footman?"

"Yes." Jack said. "That is correct."

"Have you worked in a large house before?"

"No, sir, I was an artist for a few years. I sort of gave that up after I lost my drawings on the _Titanic_."

The butler seemed interested. "You survived the _Titanic_?"

"Yes, sir. I was pulled from the water, but I lost my book of drawings. I've been working odd jobs for the past seven years, and served a year in the army."

"So you're American?"

"Yes sir, I'm from Wisconsin."

"And you have no experience as a footman?"

"No." said Jack eagerly. "But I'm willing to learn."

"Well, I suppose you're hired. I'll speak to Lord Grantham, I don't know how willing he'll be after everything that has happened. One of our footmen worked at the hospital, he's staying here now, and the other was killed in battle."

"I'm sorry to hear it."

"You can start tomorrow… and one more thing."

"Yes, Mr. Carson?" asked Jack.

"Don't mention your survival of the _Titanic_ to anyone upstairs please. You see, we lost the heir to Downton Abbey, and his son, in the tragedy, and no one upstairs likes to be reminded of it. I shall make your hiring known to Lord Grantham, and I shall see you tomorrow." Jack shook hands with Mr. Carson again, before Mr. Carson left. Anna came back.

"So from the look on Mr. Carson's face, I'd say you got the job." She said, smiling. Upon closer look, he saw the huge circles under her eyes, and for the first time, he noticed that she seemed rather pale.

"I don't know if I want to work here if they've got you looking pale and tired!" He joked.

"No." she said, blushing. "I'm just under a bit of stress because my fiancé and I are having some difficulties with… unresolved issues."

"You're engaged?" he asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

"Yes." She allowed herself to smile. "You'll meet him tomorrow. Have a nice day, Mr. Dawson."

"I'm sorry, Miss Smith, if I offended you. I just didn't think-."

"No. It's quite all right. I assume you can find your way out?" she asked pointedly.

He nodded again. He walked out the door, wondering who the man that was so special to her was, and if he was worth the troubled look she carried.

Back at the Grantham Arms, he couldn't help but muse how different his life was now. Only seven years ago, he had been so head-over-heels in love with Rose. But now… He had a steady job that was to start the next day, and seemingly friendly co-workers. He smiled as he got ready for bed, wondering how much better his life could get.


	2. Chapter 2: First Day

The next afternoon, Jack stood in the vast kitchen, being introduced as the newest member of staff. He committed their faces to memory, his fingers aching for his sketchbook. There was Mr. Carson, dignified and pompous, the butler. There was Mrs. Hughes, the kind motherly housekeeper. There was Ms. O'Brien, the maid to Lady Grantham, who aside from having a horrible haircut, was cold and unfriendly. Then there was Mr. Bates, the valet to Lord Grantham. There was Anna, who he'd already met, who seemed sweet and fierce at the same time. Then there was Mrs. Patmore, the cook who seemed more like a sergeant than a cook. There was also Thomas, er- Corporal Barrow, who seemed to be staying among them as opposed to working there. Then there was Jane, the other housemaid, who seemed kind enough. That left Daisy, the naïve yet nice kitchen maid. He was introduced to all of them, and Mr. Carson smiled for the first time in days.

"Well…" said Mrs. Hughes. "I'm sure you'll come to like it here. You'll notice that things are a bit busy at the moment, but I'm sure you'll learn. Thomas, you won't mind showing Mr. Dawson to his room?"

Thomas, looking surly, took Jack up the stairs to the men's quarters. "Your room is right here, it used to belong to William, who died."

Jack smiled at him. "Thank you, I wouldn't mind getting settled here."

"You don't sound English to me…" commented Thomas.

"I'm not, I'm American."

"So how did you end up here?"

"That," said Jack, turning to Thomas. "Is a long, sorry story. Is there anyone else on staff?"

"Well there are plenty of housemaids, and hall boys, and there's the chauffeur, Tom Branson, but that's about it. You'd better get settled then get back to the servants hall."

And with that, Thomas left Jack to get settled. He sat down on the bed, and was strongly reminded of the sparse accommodations aboard the _Titanic_. He shook his head to clear the thoughts. Then he walked back downstairs. Mr. Carson gave him a quick lesson on being a footman, before saying. "His Lordship wants a word with you in the library, I'll take you up there." He led him up a staircase to the opulent ground floor of the Abbey. He led the awed young man down the hair to the library. He showed him inside, and said. "Lord Grantham, I brought the new footman, as you requested."

As Jack stepped inside the library, he heard a kind voice say. "Very good, Carson. Will you be ringing the dressing gong soon?"

"Yes m'lord." Said Carson. "The Dowager Countess will be dining here tonight, along with Mr. Crawley, Mrs. Crawley, Ms. Swire and Sir Richard."

"Thank you Carson, you may leave us now."

Jack looked around him, stunned at the grandeur of the library. The man who had spoken, the Earl of Grantham, was a kind-looking man, with graying hair and a nice smile.

"Are you settling in?" he asked politely.

"Yes my lord."

"I don't believe I caught your name-?"

"Oh, it's Jack, m'lord. Jack Dawson."

"How old are you, Jack?"

"I'm twenty-seven."

"Well, you'll find no lack of excitement here. I assume you'll be serving at dinner tonight?"

"Yes m'lord." Said Jack, nodding.

"Ah, good. If my mother, the Dowager Countess, says something to you, it would be best not to listen, her jibes are always quite harsh."

"Yes, m'lord."

"You're American, aren't you?"

"Yes, I spent most of my life there. I went to Paris at one point, and in 1912, worked my way back to America, thanks to a lucky game of poker."

"Ah, you played cards?"

"I was an artist, m'lord, and I won a ticket on a steamship to America."

"That must have been rather exciting." Lord Grantham commented.

"M'lord, it was… and it wasn't."

"Whatever do you mean?" asked the perplexed Lord Grantham.

"Mr. Carson informed me it was a rather painful subject in the house of Grantham."

"Carson likes to think that every tragedy we have is magnified even years later. Why was your trip not exciting?"

"You see… the ticket I won was for the _Titanic. _And I was barely alive when they pulled me from the water."

"You were on the _Titanic_?!" Lord Grantham asked, clearly stunned.

"Yes, m'lord. Is there anything else you need?"

"No, I just wanted to welcome you to the house. That'll be all."

Jack knew he was dismissed, so he went down to the servants' hall. The only people he found were Mr. Bates and Anna. He collapsed into a chair across from them.

"Rough first day?" asked Mr. Bates, a smile on his face.

"You have no idea." Jack groaned. He sat up, and looked at them. They didn't look to be all smiles, and it looked as though a dark cloud was hanging over their heads.

Mr. Bates said. "I expect I'll get an earful when I'm dressing his Lordship about our handsome new footman."

Anna laughed, and Jack smiled, believing that they were talking about him.

"Who else is in the family?" he asked.

"Well…" said Mr. Bates. "There's Lady Grantham. Lady Cora, she's Lord Grantham's wife, and she's American."

"I see." Said Jack.

"Then there's Lady Mary, the eldest Crawley daughter, there's Lady Edith the second daughter, and Lady Sybil, the youngest."

"Anyone else? I figured there would be more in a house this size!" said Jack with a short laugh.

"There's the Dowager Countess, Lady Violet, Lord Grantham's mother. She however, lives at the Dower House. There's also Mrs. Isobel Crawley, his Lordship's cousin, and there's the heir to the estate, Mr. Matthew Crawley."

"Do they live here?"

"No, they live down at Crawley house in the village. Although since his war injury, Matthew hasn't been able to have the use of his legs, so he's in a wheelchair."

"And who is Ms. Swire, and Sir Richard?" asked Jack, remembering Lord Grantham's words to Mr. Carson.

"Ms. Lavinia Swire is supposed to be engaged to Mr. Matthew, and Sir Richard Carlisle is engaged to Lady Mary." Explained Anna from alongside Mr. Bates.

"How long have you been working here?" Jack asked them.

"Well, I've been here as a housemaid for about ten years." Said Anna. "And Mr. Bates here-."

"Joined the staff in 1912, the day after the _Titanic _went down."

Jack shivered at the thought. "I'll be ready." He said. "For dinner tonight, I mean."

Just then, the noise of the dressing gong could be heard. Anna and Mr. Bates both stood up. He kissed her gently on the cheek, and limped away, aided by his cane. Anna ran off as well, a faint blush across her face. Jack sat there for a minute, contemplating what life would be like if he was in America, in New York with Rose, instead of here. But then Mr. Carson walked in, asking. "Have you found some livery in the cupboards?"

"Yes Mr. Carson, I'll go get into it right now, and be ready in a few." And thus, all thoughts of Rose were forced out of his head on his first night at work.

Only a half hour later, he was serving in the dining room, following Mr. Carson's lead. The old woman, who he presumed to be Lady Violet, the Dowager countess, was the first to smell the fresh blood. "Are you the new footman?" she asked, drawing everyone's attention to him.

"Yes milady." He answered cheerfully.

"You don't sound English." She commented, as she took food from the plate he was holding.

"No milady. I'm an American."

"Ah," she said, sounding disappointed. "Another American."

"And tell me," snapped a woman from across the table. "What's wrong with being American?"

"Nothing's wrong. I was just wondering how a young American could end up across the pond, serving the aristocracy." Said Lady Violet.

Jack wisely said nothing. The rest of the dinner went off without a hitch,

**xXxXx**

Later on, as the servants ate their dinner, Jack listened to the conversation. Suddenly, he heard shouting from upstairs. He looked at the roof, trying to determine what was going on. Everyone else suddenly fell silent, as if they knew something was up. After silence reigned upstairs again, the servants went back to their meal as if nothing had happened. Mr. Carson came down, angry. "No one is to speak to Mr. Branson when he comes down here, understood?" he snorted, but no one paid him any mind.

A few moments later, a young man who Jack presumed was Branson, walked in. "I'm getting married to Lady Sybil." That was all he said. But a glare from Mr. Carson sent him running. Everyone was staring. Then the bells started ringing, first Lord Grantham's, then Lady Grantham's. Mr. Bates rose to his feet, patted Anna on the shoulder, and went upstairs, Ms. O'Brien following to attend to her ladyship. Jack could all too clearly understand what Lord Grantham was feeling. Once Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes had left, he said. "I can't blame him for being angry."

Anna looked over. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I know how love over the class divide is tricky to pursue… But then again, I also know that love is tricky to pull off in service, but you've overcome that barrier."

"Yes…" she said sadly, looking down at her mending. "But other barriers still stand in the way."

"That sounds ominous." He said frowning.

"What were you saying about love over the class divide?" asked Daisy, walking in to pick up the plates from dinner.

"Oh, nothing."

"Have _you _ever been in love?" asked Daisy. His cryptic comments had caught her interest.

"Maybe I have." He answered, getting up from the table. "Night all." He walked upstairs, feeling their gazes on his back. He would have to learn to control himself when it came to his speaking. He had to remember that the English were not as free with their words as Americans.

As he fell asleep, on his first night at Downton, his thoughts were of Rose, her cheeks flushed in passion, her naked skin pressed against his, her long wavy hair fanning across his chest as she lay upon him, tired from their lovemaking. But those memories were fading after seven years, and he didn't know how much longer he could hold on to them.


	3. Chapter 3: Friends

He woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. He looked around, and saw the sunlight pouring in the windows. It may have been seven years, but he still shook at the thought of the _Titanic_. He decided he'd go for a walk when he had some spare time, check out the grounds. So when he had a spare moment, Jack took a walk about the grounds. He heard the noise of soft crying, and took it upon himself to find the cause. What he found was stunning. It was Lady Sybil, sitting on the grass, crying her heart out.

"Milady?" he asked tentatively, wondering if it was the right time.

She looked up as he approached, and wiped her eyes. "I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to catch me like this, I do apologize."

"Would this have anything to do with Mr. Branson?" he asked, taking a seat beside her.

"Why do you ask?"

"I know about love across the classes, milady, if you'll pardon me for speaking so openly." He said gently.

"And how would you know?"

"Because I was on the _Titanic,_" he confessed. "Where I fell in love with the most beautiful woman. But things didn't go as planned." It was all he would say about Rose.

"And she was above you, class-wise?" asked Lady Sybil wisely.

"Yes." He admitted. "It's not something I like to go around, blurting out, and we were only together briefly. There was also the fact that she was engaged."

"Well that's a plot twist." Remarked the young lady with a smile.

"Milady, I hope you don't think me impertinent, but I think that I would be happy to call you a friend… because I know what it's like to love against the odds."

She smiled at him, wiping the last of the tears from her face. "I will consider you a friend." After a few moments of comfortable silence, she simply asked. "What was her name?"

"Rose." He said, marveling at how his heart pounded just to say that name.

"You look as though the light has gone out of you." She commented.

"I haven't said the name in seven years, milady. I don't even know if she survived."

"She was travelling in first class, yes?"

He stood abruptly. "Milady, I will talk more, I'm just not ready to discuss her yet."

Sybil smiled. "Well, you always have me to talk to."

He nodded, and walked away, through the grounds. He wanted to draw Lady Sybil. He wanted to draw her in her nice dress, sitting on the ground. For the first time in seven years, he had an urge to find a pencil, and draw. He fought it, and walked back up to the main house. It was a lovely sunny April afternoon. He was ready for anything, except to talk about Rose. He walked into the servants' hall, and found it empty. He sat down, musing that it had been years since he had thought about drawing. Although Rose was never far from his mind, the drawing certainly was. He closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on. He shook himself out of the trance, and moved along.

**xXxXxX**

Later that evening, the servants' hall was awash in bubbly, joyful conversation. As far as he knew, Mr. Matthew Crawley, was finally able to walk again, and everyone was overjoyed at the news. The wedding was planned for a few weeks from the day, and everyone was excited.

O'Brien seemed to pick up on his quietness. "I imagine you long for America." She commented. "I certainly would, with the people I'm working with." She shot a nasty look at Mr. Bates, who noticed.

"What's wrong, Ms. O'Brien?" asked Jack. He had noticed tension between Mr. Bates and Ms. O'Brien, just as he'd noticed the atmosphere between Thomas and Mr. Bates.

"Oh nothing, except I wish I could get away from the people I'm stuck here with."

"Really?" Anna cut in, annoyed, before Mr. Bates could speak. "Well, the feeling around here is mutual."

O'Brien looked at her with distaste. Thomas picked up on the mood. "Why are you always so quick to defend him? Afraid he'll run off and go find another floozy?"

Anna glared at him, but it was Mr. Bates who spoke. "Will you just shut up?" he asked, tense. Then he stood and left, Anna following. She looked close to tears. The other servants hastily bid them good night. O'Brien looked at Thomas, smirking. "Well." She said, unimpressed. "You sure know how to clear a room."

Jack stood and ran out of the room. After their conversation, he considered Anna and Mr. Bates to be friends. He asked Daisy. "Do you know where Mr. Bates and Anna got to?"

"I'll imagine they're out in the courtyard." Answered the kitchen maid, unsure of why he wanted to know.

He ran outside, and found them standing there, Mr. Bates with his arms wrapped around Anna. Jack coughed to get their attention, and they broke apart.

"Anna, Mr. Bates, are you all right?" He asked, for Anna had obvious tear tracks down her face.

"Yes, thank you Jack. I'm fine, just a bit shaken up, that's all."

Mr. Bates explained. "When my ex-wife-." Here he exchanged a dark look with Anna. "Showed up here, she called Anna a floozy, and to hear it again-."

"Well, it rather bothered me. I'm not accustomed to being called names. Even by Thomas and O'Brien."

"What do they have against the two of you?" asked Jack, concerned.

"Their hatred for me stretches back to the day I arrived. And over time the feeling has grown mutual. I can withstand a lot of things, a lot of name-calling, but I can't stand it when someone insults Anna."

Jack nodded. "I just wanted to make sure the two of you were all right. Good night then." He left them alone, in the courtyard. And as soon as he was in his room, he grabbed a pencil and paper, and sketched the two of them, standing, arms wrapped around each other in the courtyard. It was the first thing Jack had drawn since he had drawn Rose, all those years ago. He put the drawing on his bedside table, and switched off the light. He felt drained of emotion. Then, he fell asleep, trying to forget.


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks passed without incident. It was only a few more days until Mr. Matthew's wedding to Ms. Swire. Jack frequently found himself drawing in his spare time, trying to keep his mind occupied. He was always a social person, but as of late, he kept to himself. But one night at dinner, when Mr. Carson fell ill, he was aiding Mr. Moseley in the dining room. Her Ladyship fell ill during dinner, and they were left to serve the few people remaining at the table. At one point, while he was downstairs, he overheard a heated conversation between Mr. Bates and Anna.

"Mr. Bates, if we have to face this, then we will face it as husband and wife. I will not be… moved to the sidelines to watch how you fair from a distance with no right even to be kept informed. I will be your next of kin, and you cannot deny me that." He heard a distinct note of tears in her voice, before Jane ran past Jack, and interrupted the moment. "Anna, you'd better come quick!"

Anna ran past Jack, staring back at Mr. Bates. Jack walked around the corner, figuring he could spare a minute. He looked at Mr. Bates.

"What was that all about?"

"She wants us to get married." Said Bates with a pale face.

"And you're denying her that? From what you've told me, it doesn't sound as though the police are done with you yet."

"I know." Said Bates. "But she still deserves better than me…"

"I hate to break it to you, but she loves you, and wants you. I say you better do as you're told."

Bates allowed himself to chuckle at the words of the young man. Jack realized he was probably needed upstairs, and ran back upstairs to the dining room.

**xXxXxX**

After dinner, the doctor came around, to look at the ill.

Soon after that, Dr. Clarkson left, with instructions to care for those stricken. Jack overheard him say that it was the Spanish Flu, and the wedding would probably be delayed, as both her Ladyship and Lavinia had fallen ill. Jack went and sat by himself in the cool April air of the courtyard. It was Wednesday, nearing the end of April. He sat there, wondering if it had really only been seven years since he had laid eyes on Rose Dewitt Bukater? Much as he hated to admit it, he still loved her with a burning passion, a fire that even the passing years couldn't quench. A younger housemaid came out into the courtyard, toting a case of cigarettes. She was clearly looking for a smoke. He stood, and walked over to her.

"Hey." He said. "Can I bum a smoke?"

"Sure." She said, handing it to him. "We're supposed to have guests in a few weeks."

"Oh?" he asked. "Who?"

"Some rich American and his wife." Remarked the housemaid, Lauren.

"Is he part of the aristocracy?" asked Jack, curiously.

"No, he's a Philadelphian steel tycoon."

Jack felt inwardly as though he'd been punched in the gut. "What's his name?"

"Calvin Horseradish or something… I don't remember. It's after the wedding though."

He tried to breathe and act calm, but the name came to him, and brought with it such strong feelings of hatred, he thought he might be sick. _Caledon Hockley. _He said the name in his mind. _And his wife, who was supposed to be Rose… _He quickly thanked Lauren, and ran up to his room, his mind racing. He tried to fall asleep, but it only resulted in nightmares for him.

**xXxXxX**

By Thursday, it became painfully clear that her Ladyship was worse, and Lavinia was weak, but doing better. Jack was still stressing over the visit from the Americans a few weeks after the wedding. But all through Thursday, he noticed Anna and Bates exchanging small smiles. He couldn't help but ask Bates.

"What's going on with you and Anna?"

"What do you mean?" asked Bates.

"Well the two of you are all smiles lately."

"Well if you promise not to tell anyone…" said Mr. Bates mysteriously.

"I promise, now tell me!"

"Anna and I are getting married tomorrow afternoon." He said with a smile.

**xXxXxX**

But that night, all was forgotten. Lavinia succumbed to the Spanish Flu and died in the house. Jack went to bed feeling terrible, and wondering how two people could still be happy, even in the midst of misery.


	5. Chapter 5: A Wedding and a Funeral

The next morning, on Friday, Jack kept silent about everything. He made no comments when he watched the entire servants' hall awash in sad faces. More so than ever, he kept to himself. He had once drawn a picture of Ms. Lavinia Swire, from memory, and it was all he had left of the pretty young woman. He had seen Mr. Matthew traipsing about the estate, a broken young man. Jack, at one point, had mentioned it to Mr. Bates, who said. "Yes, his fiancée died. He's like…" But the older man hesitated.

"Like who?" asked Jack.

"He reminds me of what I was like when I returned from Africa." Mused Mr. Bates.

"How so?"

"I was a broken man, although I had not lost the love of my life, only my health."

"That was where you sustained your leg injury, wasn't it?" asked Jack. Most of the time, he knew better than to speak about injuries and prison to the mysterious older man. Mr. Bates nodded.

"So today is the day?" Jack asked with a wicked grin across his face.

"Indeed. Today is the day." Replied Mr. Bates.

Anna walked up to them. "His Lordship is ringing for you, Mr. Bates."

He got a look of alarm on his face, and said. "How long ago did he ring?"

"Only a minute, I figured I'd better come find you." She kissed his cheek lightly, before Mr. Bates hurried off. She turned to Jack, a faint blush playing across her cheeks. Jack grinned at her, and she figured it out.

"He told you then?"

"He did. It's this afternoon, right?"

"Yes." She said with a huge smile. "This afternoon… I'm getting married to Mr. Bates."

"So…" Jack said hesitantly. "You've known him since 1912?"

"Yes, that's right. And he proposed in 1916… but we were delayed a few times."

"By what?"

"Not what, who. His first wife, Vera. She was trying to stop us."

"Well… I see. And where is this first wife now?"

"Dead." Anna said softly. "She killed herself a few months ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Said Anna with a note of anger in her voice. "She was a nasty creature. Worse than Ms. O'Brien."

"Well that's hard to fathom." He snorted. She smiled again, before Jane came in. "Lady Mary is ringing for you, Anna."

"Thank you, Jane." She said. She smiled at Jack one more time, before leaving.

**xXxXxX**

Later, that afternoon, Jack saw Anna and Mr. Bates to the door. Mr. Bates was in his nicer suit, looked tired, but happy. Anna was all smiles, in her white blouse and blue skirt. She had a nice jacket and matching hat. He said to them. "Now remember, only you two, Lady Mary and I know. No one else is supposed to know for a few more days."

"I know." Said Anna. But she quickly wrapped her arms around Jack before leaving. She tried to smile at him, but her smiles were all for her husband-to-be. Mr. Bates shifted his cane to the other hand, and shook Jack's hand.

"Your last moments of freedom." Joked Jack, shaking Mr. Bates' hand.

"I don't see it like that at all. I see it as my last few moments before the best part of my life." Admitted Mr. Bates.

"Stop it, you silly beggar." Said Anna, smacking his arm lightly.

He smiled, and said to Jack. "We'll see you later then."

And Jack watched the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Bates leave the house, restrained by propriety, yet once they were out of the courtyard, Jack could have sworn that they linked arms. He turned back to the rest of the servants' quarters below stairs. He went out into the courtyard for a quick break. He saw O'Brien walk out for a smoke.

"Can I have a smoke?" he asked, walking over to her.

She looked up. "Where did the lovebirds get off to just now? Not right for them to take a day off when everyone is recovering."

"I'm sure they won't be gone long." Said Jack hastily.

"Well they're gallivanting off while I'm here working myself to death." She snorted.

"Do you know anything of any American visitors coming to stay at Downton?" Asked Jack, carefully turning the subject away from Anna and Bates, lest their motives for leaving be discovered.

"Well I know Lady Grantham's mother is coming to stay for a few weeks. I think we have some other American visitors as well."

"Do you know who?"

"I'm fairly sure there is a man coming to stay, an American steel tycoon from Pennsylvania and his little wife. I don't know if they have children or not. The name escapes me."

A chilling image swept over Jack. An image of a sneering face and carefully slicked-back black hair, the flash of a gun.

"Are you all right there, Dawson?" she asked. "You're the color of a sheet!"

"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I just had a chill."

"Well, you better get back inside before Mr. Carson comes looking for you. I'll ask her Ladyship about the American visitors, and let you know."

"Thank you." He said, before hurrying inside.

**xXxXxX**

It was about three quarters of an hour later, when Anna and Mr. Bates returned, radiant looks on their faces. He watched them from the window, as they shared a kiss in the courtyard, and Anna distinctly removed what looked to be a wedding ring. Then they walked into the house, and he went downstairs. He heard Mrs. Hughes send them off in different directions. He came across Anna not five minutes later.

"Hello Jack." She said. She was all smiles today.

"Hello… So it's official now?" he asked mysteriously.

"Indeed it is. We won't tell them until after the funeral. I've never been happier. Even with everything going on, even with the death of poor Ms. Swire, and the law hanging over our heads, I've never been happier." She admitted.

"Even if he is arrested, you'll be his next of kin." Pointed out Jack.

It caused Anna to blush. "You overheard that conversation?"

"Yes, I did. I was there for the end of it." He replied. Then with a smirk, he said. "Mrs. Bates."

She turned a brighter shade of red, so different from the pale pink blush she usually wore when she was embarrassed. Her eyes widened. "Hush, before someone hears you!"

The fierce look on her face made him laugh, so she smacked his shoulder to keep him quiet. He stifled his laughter, and turned away, trying to hide his smirk. "You don't know how it feels!" She berated him.

"Don't know how what feels? Being married? I don't think I'm missing out, actually."

"No, you dolt, being in love."

"Of course I do, I know how it feels being so desperately in love that you just want to be together! I have only loved one person, and I don't even know if she's still alive!" He said desperately.

Anna frowned. "I'm sorry, Jack, I didn't know. How did you know her?"

"None of that matters. She likely thinks I'm dead as well."

"Why, why were you separated in the first place?"

"That doesn't matter." He barked, trying to forget. He shook his head sadly, looking at the flagstones in the floor. "I'm sorry Anna, it's just I never talk about her."

"Then what shall we talk about?"

"How about… what you would do if you weren't in service?" He asked.

"Mr. Bates and I had plans… back when we were first engaged, to buy a small hotel, and run it, just the two of us. How about you, Jack?"

"I was an artist, a very long time ago. I worked in Paris for years, and-."

"How long ago?" She asked, clearly curious.

"Well before I came here, I hadn't drawn since 1912."

"I see." She said. "Why did you stop?"

"That- It's a little too personal, I'm afraid. But I wanted to give you this." He pulled out the sketch he had done on the night of Matthew being able to walk again, and handed it to her. It was the first drawing he had done in seven years, and it was of Anna and Bates, their arms wrapped around each other, standing in the courtyard. She smiled when she saw it. "Is this for me?"

"You, and Mr. Bates. It's not much of a-." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "A wedding present, but take it as a token of my friendship."

She smiled and patted his arm, before sliding the drawing inside her pocket. "Thank you, Jack. I appreciate it, and I'm sure Mr. Bates will too."

She left him alone, and went to get ready for dinner.

**xXxXxXxX**

Much later, just as the servants were sitting in the servants' hall, Anna ran into Jack outside of the servants' hall.

"Jack, can you do me a favor?" She asked, her smile wide, and her cheeks flushed. There was a piece of paper crumpled up in her hand.

"Sure. What can I do to help?" He asked. He was about to go outside for a smoke, but was waiting for O'Brien and Thomas to walk back inside. Thomas walked past them, and into the servants' hall.

She handed him the note. "Can you please get this to Mr. Bates? Tell everyone I've gone to bed, would you terrible mind?"

"Can I read the note?" He asked, intrigued.

"Maybe." She replied mysteriously. She left, giggling as she ran up the stairs. He walked into the servants' hall, and said. "Mr. Bates, may I have a word?"

Bates looked up from his book, and nodded. He stood, with the aid of his cane, and followed Jack out into the hallway. "Can I help you Jack?"

"Anna's gone to bed, she asked me to give you this." He handed Mr. Bates the crumpled note, without reading it. Mr. Bates read over the note, his eyes widening, then he grinned at the end. He turned to Jack, and grinning, said. "I think I'm going to bed." In his haste to make it up the stairs, he dropped the note on the floor. Wondering what all the fuss was about, Jack picked up the note. It said:

_My Darling Husband, _

_I was wondering if you would join me in the Ripon room tonight, at midnight. I have found us some accommodations, and was hoping you would give me the pleasure of showing up. Don't forget your nightclothes. It's the fifth door on the left, so count carefully! _

_Your loving wife, _

_Anna._

Jack couldn't help but be amazed at the way Anna planned things. It had only just hit him that the Bates' weren't planning on telling anyone until after the funeral. It also hit him that they wouldn't be able to consummate their marriage. But somehow, Anna had found a way. Jack had to take a moment to admire her. He walked into the servants' hall, throwing the note in the fire.

"And what's that?" asked Thomas.

"A love note from you." Replied Jack smoothly, causing Thomas to turn a patchy shade of red.

Mrs. Patmore laughed, and was soon joined in by the rest of the people in the servants' hall. Thomas got to his feet, and muttered something about being tired. Jack walked out into the courtyard, where he joined O'Brien.

She handed him a cigarette. "I asked her Ladyship."

"And..?" asked Jack.

"The visitor's name is Hockley-,"

"Caledon Hockley." He interrupted.

"How do you know that?" she asked, annoyed at the interruption.

"We've crossed paths."

"Interesting." She remarked. "He's bringing his wife along, a pretty young thing, who is friends with Lady Sybil."

"What's her name?"

"Her Ladyship didn't say. She just called her Mrs. Hockley."

"How old is she?"

"She's only twenty-four. The family is American, but her parents were friends with the Crawleys. The poor girl almost lost her husband on the _Titanic._" Said Ms. O'Brien. And he knew. _Rose_…

**xXxXxX**

It was the next morning, walking back from the funeral, that he really had time to contemplate what O'Brien told him. But when they entered the servants' quarters, he could hear Mrs. Patmore say something to Mr. Bates about two men waiting in the servants' hall. Jack's heart turned to ice. He pushed his way through the crowd, to watch as Mr. Bates walked into the servants' hall, closely trailed by Anna. The two men were standing there, impatiently.

"John Bates?" One asked.

"Yes." Replied Mr. Bates.

"You are under arrest on the charge of willful murder. You are not obliged to say anything unless you desire to do so. Whatever you say will be taken down in writing and may be given in evidence against you upon your trial."

Jack stood there, frozen, unsure, but the scene seemed familiar.

Mr. Bates sighed. "I understand."

Anna wasn't about to give in. "No, no!" she said, and Jack's heart broke at the desperation in her voice.

"Please," said Mr. Bates sadly. "Do whatever is required."

The two men handcuffed him, and Jack finally realized that Mr. Bates was giving in, but he clearly wasn't going to leave without saying something to his secret wife.

"I love you." He whispered, as though forgetting, seeming to know it was his last chance to say it.

"And I love you," Anna said, "For richer or for poorer, for better or worse."

And Jack watched as she pulled him into one final kiss. He looked around at the rest of the staff, his heart sinking, and scared at the shocked look on their faces. Then Jack turned back to see Mr. Bates pulled out of his kiss with his wife. Everyone was staring after them, as the two men led him away. It struck Jack with horrible clarity, why it seemed familiar. It reminded him of when they'd dragged him away from Rose, when they framed him, as he shouted after her. He watched in horror, as they led him out the door. But once he was gone, they only had eyes for Anna, who not only had kissed Mr. Bates in public, but recited wedding vows to him. Jack watched as she stood there, her lower lip trembling, trying to stop the tears. Then the tears were sliding out, as her husband had been dragged from her life.


	6. Chapter 6: Aftermath and Revelations

A few moments after Mr. Bates was dragged out of the house, Jack ran to Anna, but Mrs. Hughes got there first. She led the crying young woman into her sitting room. Mr. Carson said. "All right, that's it! Everyone get back to work, I have to go inform his Lordship of this." And looking rather upset, he ran upstairs. Jack walked into the servants' hall and collapsed at the table. Ms. O'Brien walked in. "I was looking for you. I got you something."

"What?" He asked.

She pulled a bundle of letters. "They're letters, between Lady Sybil and Mrs. Hockley. I explained to her that I was interested in the documents and she allowed me to borrow them. Here you go, then." She handed him the thick sheath of paper, and walked out of the room. Jack sat there for a few minutes, before the bell rang for him to serve in the dining room. He walked upstairs, and into the dining room, carrying the lunch. The Crawleys were chatting in a hushed manner, and Lord Grantham wasn't present. Jack wasn't too sure where he was. But Mrs. Crawley looked at him, and said. "Are you all right, Jack?"

"No, Mrs. Crawley, I'm not. We've had a bit of a shock downstairs."

"Why?" asked Lady Mary. "What's happened?"

"It seems that Mr. Bates was arrested, m'lady."

"Oh, what a dreadful thing." Commented the Dowager Countess.

"That explains why Lord Grantham isn't at luncheon." Said Lady Grantham.

After he was finished serving, he went back downstairs.

**xXxXxX**

He walked into the servants' hall for lunch, and found everyone there. Mr. Carson was looking at the three empty seats at the table when Jack walked in. Two of them belonged to Anna and Mr. Bates, but one belonged to Mrs. Hughes. Jack imagined she was still with Anna, trying to comprehend what was happening.

Just then, Mrs. Hughes walked in. "Mr. Carson, might I have a word?"

She walked out with him into the hallway, and after a few moments, they returned, Mr. Carson looking rather shocked. His face was a stark contrast to Mrs. Hughes' grim face. Before either of them could say anything, Anna walked in.

"Anna, are you sure you want to work? We could have made you a tray." Offered Mrs. Hughes kindly.

"Why?" asked Thomas quite snidely. "You're not ill."

Anna looked at him, her blue eyes making dark circles in her pale, scared face. "Thomas, it might interest you to know that that was my husband who was just arrested, and taken from me!" She said it right as there was a lull in conversation.

Mrs. Hughes took charge, as whispering filled the servants' hall. "Yes, Anna married Mr. Bates on Friday. She is now Anna… Bates. And she would have been permitted to have a tray in her room."

Anna smiled at her, her first smile since Mr. Bates had left. "Thomas may think he's right."

Mr. Carson looked ready to have a heart attack at the news of two servants marrying under his nose.

"Well…" He said after a moment. "We're having a fancy dinner two weeks from now, and we'll have guests coming to stay in three. So Jack, would you mind adding the roles of a valet to your duties as a footman? You've proven yourself satisfactory."

"Yes, Mr. Carson."

"I also feel as though you should be upgraded to First Footman now. Thomas-," He said, turning to Thomas. "I have reviewed your application and decided to allow you to remain on at Downton, as Second Footman, filling Jack's old post."

Thomas glared at Jack, who turned away from the angry man. "Thank you, Mr. Carson."

"You're welcome." Replied the elder man gruffly. "Now, Anna, I was told that Lady Mary wanted to see you." Anna slowly stood up, and walked upstairs. Everyone started up their gossip again, the moment she left. Jack sat there silently, finishing his meal.

**xXxXxX**

Later that evening, Jack helped his Lordship get dressed. "I don't understand it. Why on earth would Bates be arrested, when everyone knew he was innocent?" he asked.

"I only wish I knew, m'lord. But I'm pleased to say I'll be acting as your valet for now, in addition to my duties, and I've been upgraded to first footman."

"That's good news, but who will take your place as second footman?"

"Thomas, m'lord."

"Ah." The answer didn't seem to satisfy his Lordship.

"I heard something from Mr. Carson about American visitors in a few weeks?"

"Yes, we're hosting a rather large ball here at Downton, and we'll be having several Americans to stay. I'll eventually, if Mr. Bates doesn't return soon, promote you to my valet, and we'll find another footman."

"I'm honored, m'lord."

"I have no doubts about having you as my valet, Jack. I would love to see one of your drawings…" Mused the older man. He dismissed him. "Go, and please find Anna, and tell her I would like to speak to her please."

Jack left the room, and walked downstairs to find Anna, who was staring at a cup of tea, in the almost empty servants' hall.

"Expecting it to tap dance?" He asked jokingly, breaking her out of her reverie.

She give a sad smile. "No, I was thinking how much Mr. Bates-." She broke off, tears in her eyes, apparently unable to continue.

"His Lordship wants to see you."

Anna looked up. "Yes, as the wife of his friend and valet, I'm sure he'll be wanting a word with me."

She left him alone, walking upstairs, her shoes tapping softly on the stairs.

Jack was left alone, wondering what would happen if Rose was Mrs. Hockley, then what? Should he resign so he wouldn't have to face her, or what?

He walked upstairs to serve at dinner, trying once again to forget.

**xXxXxXx**

Much later, after serving at dinner, he made his way upstairs to his room. Once inside, he pulled the bundle of letters out of his pocket. The ones between the two young ladies.

He pulled the first one out, and started reading.

_April 17__th__, 1912_

_Dearest Sybil,_

_I'm sorry to hear of the loss of Patrick and Mr. Crawley in the sinking. They were good men, as I remember. I know what it feels like to lose healthy, young men, to the dangerous ocean steamers. I may sound dramatic, darling, but it was very real, being there. I was found by Cal on the Carpathia. How could I explain to him that I didn't love him, and that my heart belongs to a dead man? Sybil, I know that you are still too young, and you have not experienced the pleasure of lovemaking (woe shall befall me if this letter falls into the hands of our respective parents) or the passions of a simple kiss. I have experienced these things. Cal has moved our wedding date to the nineteenth of April. I don't write to invite you, only to speak to you. I'm so depressed. I never told you this, Sybbie, but I met a man aboard the Titanic. A man whose name I cannot speak, but who meant the world to me. He was below me in class, and I shudder what he would say now. I can still see his ocean eyes, and still hear his heartbeat. I almost died with him, but we were separated in the water. Sybil darling, if you fall in love with someone below you, don't let class stop you. I wish you were here, helping me through this dark time. _

_Fond regards, _

_Rose Dawson_

Jack stared at the letter in pure, unadulterated shock. Rose, it was Rose. She was visiting, she was coming to stay at Downton Abbey. He couldn't believe it. Rose was Mrs. Hockley. Frantically, he opened the next letter, and began reading. A few letters later, he found one that made his heart stop.

_May 19__th__, 1912._

_Dearest Sybil, _

_I'm so very afraid, a young woman of seventeen, and I am with child. I know, I know what you are thinking, but there is something I must confess to you. This baby, it is not Cal's child. I know it. I have known it since I missed my monthly, the day before our wedding. It is the baby of my dead lover. I have cried a thousand tears. I only told my maid, and she sent me to the doctor. He found a place for me to hide. I'm there now, waiting. I don't know if I even want to live to have this child. I keep finding myself wondering what would happen if I killed myself. In my dreams every night, I see him. But not just him, his Italian friend, Fabrizio, and his Irish companion Tommy. They all haunt my thoughts. I might just stab myself in the stomach, end this nightmare, and go back to Philadelphia as if nothing happened. In fact, I'm finding my knife as soon as I finish my letter. Do not feel sorry for me, and don't allow this to fall into the wrong hands. _

_Yours, _

_Rose Dawson-Hockley._

Jack was so concerned, he barely noticed what time it was. He skimmed through the rest of the letters, hoping to see another mention of Rose's pregnancy, or a baby, but he found nothing. It seemed that Rose didn't really write a lot, after her stunning announcement, and finally in one of the last letters, he found that she seemed happy enough being Mrs. Hockley. But he reviled the name. The frequent mentions of him, as well as Tommy and Fabrizio were enough to cause pain in his heart. He had loved the two of them like brothers. But he looked at his sad-looking pocket watch, and realized it was after midnight. He quickly got into bed. He fell asleep, but not before allowing himself to wonder if what Rose said was true. What had happened to her pregnancy


	7. Chapter 7: Dublin

It was a few weeks later, when Jack realized the situation he was in. He had spent the two weeks comforting Anna, and preparing for the dinner. They'd hired a new footman, a young man fresh from the war. His name was Daniel Bones, but everyone called him Danny. Well, everyone except Mr. Carson. Jack had received word from Lady Sybil about the wedding, and was determined to attend. He wanted to show his support for the couple, but that would be hard, considering all the barriers he would have to cross to get to Dublin in time for the wedding.

He used an old excuse. "Mr. Carson, I don't wish to inconvenience you, especially when the ball is so near…"

"But?" The butler asked.

"One of my grandmothers is Irish, she lives in Dublin, she's my only family, and she's ill, you see. I have to go and see her. May I have a few days off?"

"Certainly. I don't see why not. After all, family is important. As long as you'll be back in time for the ball."

"Thank you, Mr. Carson." He replied.

He grinned as soon as he was out of Mr. Carson's line of vision. He couldn't believe he'd pulled it off. He ran into Anna in the servants' hall. The poor woman was clutching a letter in her hand, and he knew at once who it was from. "Is that from Mr. Bates?" He asked, sitting down beside her.

"Yes, he writes as often as he can." She replied. He looked at her, and noticed she looked exhausted.

"You don't look all right." He said. _Well observed, genius._ He told himself.

"My husband is in prison for a crime he didn't commit, of course I'm not all right." She sighed.

"So are you going or not? I'm accompanying Lady Mary, although I'll miss my weekly visit with Mr. Bates."

"I don't think he'd want you cooped up in this house day in and day out." Said Jack, trying to convince her. "And yes, Mr. Carson believed it, so I'll be going as well."

Anna smiled. "I might be able to convince Lady Mary to let you come with us."

"No, then she might tell Mr. Carson. When's your next visit with Mr. Bates?"

"It's tomorrow afternoon. His Lordship gave me permission to visit every week until this is sorted." She explained.

"That's good."

"Jack… did you ever fall so head-over-heels in love with someone that if they were to leave you, or die, then you'd never feel whole without them?" she asked sadly.

"Yes. Only one in my life, but I know exactly what you're talking about."

"Do you?" she asked.

"Yes, she was the best woman a man could ask for. But she was seventeen, I was twenty, and she was engaged. It's like the barriers you mentioned all those weeks ago."

"Yes, and now Mr. Bates and I face another one." She sighed.

He could see her devotion, and he felt so terribly for her. The bell for Lady Mary rung, so she quickly made her leave, forgetting the letter on the table. Jack picked it up, promising to give it to her later, and read it.

_My darling Anna, _

_I must confess, when I received your letter, I was a little surprised. I know I shouldn't be. But the world is moving on without me. Your letters sustain me like no food ever could. No one in here believes of my innocence. But on the outside, out in the real world, I'll imagine there are still a few people remaining who believe that I did not kill my ex-wife._

_Flowers bloom,_

_And sun shines,_

_And I can smile, _

_You belong to me, _

_Your silky blonde hair, _

_Your lovely blue eyes, _

_Although I remain trapped, _

_I still remain yours._

_Allow my pitiful poetry skills to let you know exactly how much I adore you, Anna. When one is awaiting trial, unsure of the future, my precious memories of you become all the more dear to me. I'm so worried, afraid of losing you. I will find my way back to you, I promise._

_I love you._

_Your darling husband, _

_John._

Although Jack felt as though he was intruding, he suddenly knew exactly why the letters from Mr. Bates were so reassuring to Anna. The poetry he wrote her was sweet, and meaningful. Jack knew why she loved the older man. Beneath his rough, injured exterior, Mr. Bates apparently had a heart of gold. Although he seemed to only show it to his wife. How strange, but Jack still couldn't fathom that Mr. Bates and Anna were married.

Mr. Carson walked in. "Are you all set to leave tomorrow?"

"Yes, Mr. Carson." He said, standing up.

"Good. I assume you won't mind sharing the train with Anna and the Crawley girls?"

"No, Mr. Carson, I wouldn't mind."

"Good." Said the butler, rather briskly. He turned and left Jack alone.

**xXxXxX**

The wedding, even if simple, was still beautiful. Jack sat with Anna, behind the Crawley sisters, supporting the young couple, who were giving up so much to be together. Anna was there, supporting the ex-member of staff, and Lady Sybil, who had been a friend to her for a long time. But Anna had her face buried in a handkerchief for most of the ceremony. Jack knew she was longing for Mr. Bates. And Jack, although watching the wedding, was thinking in a melancholy way. He knew that Anna and Mr. Bates shouldn't have had to get married alone, in secret. They should have had a church wedding. Just as he and Rose should have. Why did the sweetest loves always end the worst?

He barely noticed when the ceremony ended, and Anna walked up to him. "Care to escort me out?" She asked with a sad smile.

"Certainly." He replied, returning her smile.

"So when do we head back to Downton?"

"Lady Mary said we'll be leaving on the train tomorrow. She promised she wouldn't rat you out to Mr. Carson, or his Lordship."

"That's very kind of her. When is this large dinner?"

"It's the day after tomorrow. When I mentioned it to Mr. Bates on my visit, he seemed very sad he couldn't be there."

"Are the servants allowed to attend?"

"Yes, although I don't know if I will."

"You should. You shouldn't spend such a festive night alone, by yourself."

"Jack… Is there anyone you'll want to dance with?" She asked.

"No. I've only ever danced with one girl who was worth another dance… Mrs. Bates." He teased.

She smiled, a real smile. "I don't know if I'll attend. We've got so many families attending this ball, and Mr. Carson is pleased. He hasn't hired a new housemaid yet, so I've got more jobs than ever."

"You don't look as though you've been getting a lot of sleep, Anna."

"I haven't. I've been so worried, and I don't know how to continue. After you lost that girl of yours… Was there ever a moment when she was out of your thoughts, ever a moment when you weren't worried for her wellbeing?"

"No." He admitted sadly. "I couldn't stop thinking about her. I didn't even know she was alive." He confessed.

"How did you meet her?" asked Anna, as they made their way into the bright sunshine.

"I met her… aboard the _Titanic_." He said quietly. "She was in first class, I was in third."

She suddenly stopped, then turned and looked at him. It looked as though more tears were in her eyes. "Well… That's kind of funny." She said, trying to smile, but the tears were already coming.

"What is?"

"Well… the love of your life came to you by way of the _Titanic. _My husband and I met the day after she went down. So in a way, love came to us through that ship."

"I can believe that. I can believe anything. When I first saw her, I was stunned." He confessed. "Her red hair was tied up, and looking all nice and proper. But she saw me, even though the layers of class stood between us."

"I remember when I first walked down the stairs to the servants' hall, and he was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I remember it as though it were yesterday. Some days, when I walk down the stairs, I close my eyes, hoping that when I open them, he'll be waiting, and we'll have been taken back to a time when we were both happy." She looked down, wiping away the tears.

Lady Mary walked over from where she had been congratulating the happy couple. "Anna, Dawson, I was hoping to catch you. I wanted to let you know that you both have the rest of the afternoon off. Anna, I won't need to dress for dinner, so I'll see you back at the hotel in time to dress me for bed?"

"Yes…" Said Anna, looking as amazed as Jack felt. "Thank you m'lady."

"I'll see the two of you later." She said, turning and walking back to Lady- er, Mrs. Branson.

**xXxXxXx**

Jack and Anna walked around Dublin, until they found themselves in a small pub. They were talking.

"I had an Irish friend once. Dead now, but he was a good man."

"What was his name?" asked Anna.

"Tommy. Tommy Ryan." He said.

Anna was about to say something, when a woman interrupted their conversation. She had copper-colored curls, and stunningly blue eyes. She looked like-.

"Excuse me, sir, but did you say you were friends with Tommy Ryan?"

"Yes, ma'am I did." Replied Jack. He and Anna exchanged a look. "Why?" He asked.

"He was me brother." She said sadly. "Only we haven't heard from him in about seven years. How did you know him?"

"We were onboard the _Titanic _together…"He said, noticing Anna's shocked face out of the corner of his eyes.

"Did he not survive?" She asked. He noticed how thin she was and wondered once more why Tommy had been on board.

"No, ma'am, I'm sorry to say that he was shot. When the people panicked, and one of the officers threatened anyone who moved any closer, Tommy was shoved forward by the crowd. The officer- well, he pulled the trigger, and Tommy died."

The woman covered her mouth, as Jack saw the whole scene replaying in front of his eyes. Fabrizio cradling the broken body in his arms. Both of them full of life.

"Can you please come with me? Your wife is invited too."

"She's not my wife. She's a friend." He explained. "What's your name, Miss Ryan?"

"Siobhan. Siobhan Ryan. And you are..?"

"Jack." He said, holding out his hand. "Jack Dawson."

"It's a pleasure, Mr. Dawson. And you are…?" She asked, holding her hand out politely.

"This is Anna Smith- er, Anna Bates."

"Are you recently married, my dear?" Asked Siobhan kindly.

"Yes. My husband was arrested. Jack here still isn't used to me being Anna Bates."

"I'd like to invite you for a cup of tea."

They followed her out into the street, where she hailed a taxi. They made their way to a small, but cosy-looking house.

**xXxXx**

Siobhan led them inside. "Now, I must warn you, my niece is quite rambunctious."

"Your niece?" Asked Jack, confused.

"Yes." She said, hesitating. "Since he vanished, Tommy's daughter, Hope, has been living with me."

"Was he married?"

"No. Tommy was all that little girl had for parents. His daughter was born at the end of the bitter March in 1912, and his wife, Gwendolyn died in childbirth. So he and his daughter came to live with me. He saved and saved, until he could buy a ticket, and told me he'd write once he'd reached the New World. He was going to send the money over so that we could join him there. But once we lost contact, I was never sure if he'd died, or if he'd just abandoned his child." She sounded bitter.

"Does Hope remember either of her parents?"

"How could she, she was still in the cradle!"

"Did she ever know that you were her Aunt? Or did she simply see her as mother?" asked Anna from beside him, as Siobhan led them into the cozy sitting room. She didn't answer. A little girl ran in, and Jack felt as though he'd been punched in the gut. Little Hope Ryan was the spitting image of her Irish father. Siobhan noticed his response.

"Did you know he had children?" Asked Siobhan gently.

"He wasn't much for talking about himself." Admitted Jack. He and Anna sat down at the table, and he knew that Anna was wondering what they were doing there. He simply smiled at her, and went back to talking to Siobhan.

"So he didn't survive, and poor little Hope truly is an orphan." Sighed Siobhan. But the little girl who giggled as she climbed onto Anna's lap, didn't seem like a poor little orphan. She took hold of Anna's hand, tugging at her wedding ring.

"What's this?" she asked.

"It's my wedding ring." Replied Anna, a little surprised.

"What's it for?" Asked Hope.

"It's to show that I'm married." Explained Anna, trying to force back the tears.

"Is he your husband?" asked the little girl, pointing to Jack.

"No." Said Anna, and Jack was fairly sure they both turned bright red.

"So where is your husband?" asked Hope.

Siobhan obviously noticed that the young woman was close to tears, so she gently said. "I think it's time to stop bothering Mrs. Bates now, darling. Go find Nanny, and we'll talk later."

The little girl ran out of the room, as Anna hastily wiped her eyes.

"I would be honored if the two of you would join me for dinner this evening." Said Siobhan.

Jack was unsure. He turned to Anna. "Do you know what time we'll be expected back?"

"I have to be back in time to dress Lady Mary for bed, so I think we have time."

"Ah…" said the woman. "You work for a Lady, do you? A countess?"

"No, we both work for the English Earl of Grantham."

"My!" said Siobhan, a little shocked. "This is a little far from Downton for the two of you, isn't it?"

"It is, but we're here with Lady Mary, because her sister was getting married here, to an Irishman."

"Oh? What's his name? I work for a newspaper, so not much gets by me."

"It's Branson, Ms. Ryan. Tom Branson."

"Ah, I know Tom. He used to run errands for me, before he left for England. Of course, when I wished him well, I never imagined he'd be marrying the daughter of an Earl!"

"Well.. they say times are changing." Said Jack.

He and Anna stayed with Siobhan, and he promised to try and find time to visit again. It was early evening, by the time they returned to the hotel. Anna bid him good night, as he headed upstairs. But not only was Tommy on his mind, but another potential victim of the tragedy. Cora, the little girl he'd met onboard. She would have been roughly the same age as Hope was now… He tried to forget everything. It didn't work, and he fell asleep, uneasily anticipating what would happen when their visitors arrived.

**xXxXxXx**

The next morning, Siobhan came and saw them off at the train station. Anna waved her away, bending down to give the little girl a hug. Then it was back on the train, back to Downton, and away from the safety of their little Dublin holiday.


	8. Chapter 8: Remembering Rose

When they returned to Downton, the sun was out, and in the sunlight, Jack noticed that Anna looked as though she hadn't slept in weeks. He knew that it was just the imprisonment of Mr. Bates taking its toll. "So how many families are coming tonight?" He asked nervously.

"For the ball, tomorrow? There's the Bordens, Lady Borden and her sons, there's Sir. Anthony Strallan, who's coming, Mrs. Levinson, Lady Grantham's mother is coming, Lady Rosamunde, and Sybil and Tom are planning on attending. There's also the Hockleys who are arriving and staying for dinner this evening, and will be staying for most of the summer. Jack… what's wrong?"

For at her words, he had stopped, as though frozen. He would see Rose tonight. "Nothing!" He said, perhaps a little too hastily.

She shot him a suspicious look. "Hockley." She said again, and her eyes widened when he flinched.

"There- something happened between Caledon Hockley and I, many years ago, and I'm afraid of what would happen if he and his wife recognized me. Who in their family is coming?"

"Well, Mr. Hockley, his wife, and his wife's mother, Ruth."

She watched as he flinched again at the name.

"What history… exactly do you have with these people that it causes you to flinch when their names are mentioned?" She asked, astonished.

"That's a long story, I'm afraid."

"We have time." She said cheekily, but he brushed her off.

"No, Mr. Carson will be waiting for us. Do you know if they'll be anyone there already?"

"No, everyone is supposed to arrive this afternoon." She answered. The train from Dublin was gone, and at that moment, he turned around to watch the next one pull into the station. Then, as the train slowed, through the steam, he heard an unmistakable voice. An arrogant voice, saying. "Come along darling, they were supposed to have a car waiting." _Cal! _Jack thought frantically.

Jack immediately grabbed Anna's hand, and pulled her along as he ran from the station. She said. "Jack, what-?"

But he stopped her, heart pounding, as they rounded the corner. "Shhh." He said. "We better run for the house, even if you don't want to. Trust me. And we can't be seen by them."

"I'll do as you ask." She said, but with a fierce look in her eyes. "But only if you answer my two questions once we're safely away."

He sighed, knowing she wouldn't take no for an answer. He nodded, and they rushed up the road to the house, stopping to pause in the forest, as the motor drove past. The new chauffeur, Pratt hadn't seen them, and hopefully neither he, nor his passengers had seen them. But they drove past as though nothing had happened. Jack and Anna walked back to the house slowly, trying to catch their breath. In the sunlight, although they were still a ways down the road, Jack could see Rose's red hair light up as it caught the sunlight. He stopped walking, his mind taken back seven years. Back to the day he had stood on the third class deck, so lost in thought that even Fabrizio couldn't snap him out of it. His eyes involuntarily closed, and the memory returned to him…

_He was sitting on the third class deck, sketching little Cora and her father standing at the railing. He had just been introduced to Tommy. He looked around, and suddenly… He saw her. And suddenly it was as though every breath that had left his lungs before then wasn't as worthy as the breath that was leaving his lungs at that moment. She was a stunning woman, with a lithe figure, and red hair, shining in the sunlight. And Tommy cut in, laughing. "Ah forget it boyo. You'd as like have angels fly out of your arse then get next to the likes of her!" And Fabrizio was waving his hand in front of Jack's face to no avail. And then… he forgot his friends, he forgot his age… he forgot his name. She turned her head, and was looking straight… at… Jack. Then their stare was broken, as a man in a fancy suit walked up behind the young woman. She followed the man back inside, shattering Jack's daydream. But he knew, from that moment on, that he would end up with that young woman._

"Jack!" Said Anna, snapping him out of his reverie. "What is up with you?"

He turned to her. "What are your two questions?"

"The first one is how do you know the Hockley family?"

"Listen, I met Cal on the _Titanic _and we hated each other on sight."

"That can't be the whole story!" she protested.

"I'm not about to go telling you everything when I've kept it all bottled up for the last seven years, Anna!"

She placed her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Jack, I won't ask my other question."

"No you have a right to ask. We made a deal." He said, sighing resignedly.

"Who was Tommy? I know you met him on the _Titanic, _but I don't know much else."

"He was an Irishman, who I met in third class. We became friends under unlikely circumstances. He didn't survive the sinking, and neither did my best friend, Fabrizio."

"I'm sorry Jack. I barely knew the Crawley men that died, other than the occasional nod or such."

"I'm sorry too, especially now that I know that he had a daughter."

"She's well cared for." Anna said, trying to reassure him. "Do you want me to tell Mr. Carson that you don't feel well, so you don't have to serve at dinner tonight?"

"Thank you, but no. I am going to resign."

"And leave Danny all alone?! Mr. Carson will eat you alive if you even breathe a word about resigning near him!"

"Then maybe I will pretend to be ill."

"But you're the valet now! Surely Mr. Carson can manage without you around, waiting table?"

"No, you know the duties of a valet. They serve at table, when there's a large party present." He reminded her. "You know that better than anyone."

"It's hard to remember." She admitted. "With Mr. Bates' injury, he was never asked to wait the table. He was exempt because of his leg."

"I figured as much, and guessed that that is why you've forgotten. Now, we'd better get back inside." She said, and they ran the rest of the way inside.

**XxXxXx**

Mr. Carson was speaking to a strange man and woman in the servants' hall. Jack knew that the woman was probably the ladys' maid to Rose, and that the strange man- Jack couldn't admit to anyone, not even himself, that for a second he had been terrified that the valet to Cal was still Mr. Lovejoy. Jack was able to remind himself that Lovejoy had died, on the same sinking ship as many thought he had perished on.

"Ah, Mr. Dawson, how nice of you to join us." Said Mr. Carson. "This is Mr. Ambrose, valet to Mr. Hockley, and this is Ms. Peregrine, Mrs. Hockley's maid. I trust you can show Mr. Ambrose where he is staying?" Jack nodded, and led the strange, chatty American upstairs to his room. He couldn't help but notice that the maid to Rose… her ears had perked up when she had heard his name… No, he was imagining things. Although the woman had eyes like a peregrine falcon- how fitting- he wouldn't allow her to get inside his head, or make him worry. He walked back down, after showing Mr. Ambrose where he would be staying.

He coughed, upon entering the servants' hall. The perfume from Ms. Peregrine was choking him. Mr. Carson looked around at the noise, and his gaze landed on Jack.

"Jack, are you quite all right? I was hoping you would be helping at dinner tonight."

"No." He said, coughing. "I'm not well at all."

"Go straight to bed." Ordered Mrs. Hughes, walking in. "I can hear you coughing from my sitting room! Go! I'll have Thomas bring up a tray later."

Coughing, Jack walked upstairs. Once he was up there, he knew that questions would be asked, and problems caused if it were revealed that he was not truly ill. He changed once he was in his room, and he collapsed onto his bed, his entire body sagging with the relief of not being there. He had one night to prepare himself. Thinking on that, he fell asleep, exhausted from the journey to Dublin.


	9. Chapter 9: Correspondence

He woke up later that same evening, and decided he had to do what he could. He began drafting a letter, one he could have someone get to Rose. She couldn't tell anyone, but then again, she had always kept him as her best-kept secret. He tried over and over again, but he couldn't find the right words to describe what he was feeling. Was he still in love with her? Yes. Unmistakably. He finally found the words he was looking for to tell her. So he wrote down what he was feeling.

_Dear Rose, _

_I know who you are, and what you've done. I know your name isn't Rose Dawson, but Rose Dewitt Bukater. I know that you sailed on the _Titanic _and you were ready to commit suicide. But someone saved you, didn't they? A man. A man named Jack Dawson. How do I know, considering you never told anyone? I have my ways. I know you took him as a lover. I know you were desperately in love with him, and he felt the same way about you. I know you lost him in the freezing water. But there are some things you don't know. Please know that I mean you no harm with this letter. I only wish to let you know that I knew Jack, and he never regretted a single second. I only hope you know this. Do you remember Tommy Ryan? Jack's Irish friend, as it turned out, is a father! And his daughter doesn't even remember. Please don't inform anyone of this letter. Thank you._

_Make it count, _

_A friend._

Jack looked over the letter when he was done. Would it work? He certainly hoped so. Maybe he could persuade Anna or one of the other maids- as it turned out, they'd hired another housemaid named Meaghan Goodman. She or Anna would probably have access to the Hockley bedroom… He sadly looked over the letter. Although he was concealing his true identity, he would be fine. But then he knew she wouldn't remember his handwriting. The only problem was that there were things in that letter that neither of them had told a living soul. It would be a problem, but that didn't matter. He looked at his cryptic way of signing off, and knew she would remember. _Make it count_, his speech at their dinner. He remembered, and he was sure she did as well. He put the letter on the table, and was about to fall back asleep, when he heard a knock at the door. It was Daniel. He was carrying a tray, and smiling.

"I brought you something to eat, figured you'd be hungry." Commented the young man.

"Thank you, Danny."

"I snuck a bit of the pudding on there. I thought you might like it."

"Again, thanks. How did the dinner go?"

"It went fairly well. We have so many guests, I didn't know who to start with! But I figured it out. Mr. Branson didn't come after all, just Lady Sybil."

"That's interesting. But I doubt he would feel comfortable."

"I can't blame him."

"So otherwise, the dinner went well then?" Jack asked. He was nervous.

"Well Mrs. Hockley left in the middle of dinner. I don't know why. Someone said your last name, I think it was his Lordship, and she got up, and ran from the room."

"So… Did Mr. Hockley, or Ms. Dewitt Bukater say anything about it?"

"No, oh wait! Yeah, Mr. Hockley said she was a little sensitive, that she's been really moody lately. I heard Ms. Peregrine and O'Brien talking, and I don't know, they think she's going to have a baby. She's fairly young, and if it's her first time, then she's bound to be sick-."

"How would you know?" asked Jack curiously. His insides were burning at the thought of her carrying Cal's child.

"I was raised by my sister and her husband. They were ten years older than I, and I was only fourteen when I went to live with them. So… She was pregnant, and my other siblings and I all learned a lot about babies and pregnancy."

"How old is your sister now?"

"Thirty-four. All my other siblings have left, and my sister had three kids now."

"So you're an uncle?"

"Yep." Said the young man cheerfully.

"That's good. It must be nice to have family." Jack mused.

The smile dropped off the younger man's face. "I suppose, Jack. Is there anything you need me to do?"

"Can you please deliver a letter to Mrs. Hockley for me?" Jack asked, picking up the letter. It was time to take some chances.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but only tell her it's from a friend."

"It's not a love letter, is it?" Asked the young man suspiciously.

"No, no concerns there, it's not. I'm passing it on from a friend of mine."

"Oh, all right. Well, enjoy your dinner, and I'll take the letter straightaway."

The younger man handed Jack the tray, and pocketed the letter. He walked out of the room. Jack climbed back into bed, and ate his dinner, wondering how she would react upon seeing the letter.

**xXxXx**

Daniel came up to collect the tray an hour later. His face was red, and he clutched a scrap of paper. "Jack!" he cried. "Open up!"

Jack rushed to the door, opening it immediately.

Daniel was breathing heavily. "I have a reply from Mrs. Hockley. Be sure to pass it on to your friend."

"Just so I can tell my friend, what was her face like when she read it?"

"She turned really pale, and called her maid to help her sit down. She looked as though she was going to faint!"

Jack couldn't help but wonder how weak she'd become. She never before would have fainted. She had made love to him, she surely couldn't be that weak! He thanked Daniel, and closed the door. He sat down on the bed, and opened the folded scrap of paper.

_To the "friend"-_

_How do you know these things? What else do you know? And who are you? And how do you know about "Make it count"? No one has spoken those words around me for seven years. Even my own husband (though I shudder at the word) wouldn't remember that, although if he were to see Mr. Dawson, he would surely remember him._

_Eagerly awaiting answers, _

_Rose Dawson-Hockley_

He couldn't help but laugh to himself. How calm and controlled Rose was suddenly freaking out and panicking. And the words she wrote clearly showed remorse at the fact that she was married to Cal. He was pleased with himself for now, but didn't know how much longer he would be stuck like this. "I too am awaiting answers, my darling." He whispered aloud, then cursed himself for his folly. He folded up the paper, and started a new letter. He vowed to go to bed after he finished the letter, and get Anna to leave it in their bedroom, somewhere inconspicuous for Rose.

_Rose, _

_I don't wish to reveal my identity. All I will say is that I was a close friend of your ex-lovers. He was a kind and caring man, and didn't deserve what happened. And I know many, many things about you and Jack. I know about your pregnancy back in 1912. But my sources were unable to deny or confirm the existence of a child. I want to know these facts, Ms. Dawson. Do not deny me this knowledge. You owe to Jack, you owe it to Fabrizio, and you owe it to Hope Ryan, Tommy's daughter. And "Make it count" is my personal motto._

_Make it count,_

_A friend._

With that letter finished, Jack crawled into bed, and fell asleep. He knew things wouldn't end the same way, but there they were. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

**XxXxXx**

The next morning, Jack caught Anna on her way out of the servants' hall. "Are you going upstairs?" He asked her hesitantly.

"Yes, I am. I do every morning." She replied with a raised eyebrow. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, much better. Has Mr. Bates written today?"

"I don't know, I'm allowed to go down to the village this afternoon, I'm supposed to fetch Mrs. Bird. Would you like to come with me?"

"I'd love to." He replied. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Depends on the favor." She answered cheekily.

"Can you please get this up to Mrs. Hockley's room? For me?" He asked, slipping the note into her hand.

She nodded. "I guess. I'll try not to get caught."

They exchanged a smile, and she ran upstairs, sliding the note into her pocket.

**XxXxX**

It was early afternoon, by the time Jack saw Anna again. She was dressed in normal clothes, and he still wasn't used to seeing her out of uniform. She looked fine, though, he admitted that. He was wearing his shirt from the night the _Titanic _went down. Hopefully not tempting fate. He and Anna walked down to the village together. Once they were on the country road leading in, he looked over, and was stunned to see Anna in tears. They stopped walking, as she buried her face in her hands.

He walked in front of her, and gently lifted her face up. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"We were walking to the Flower show, in the village…" She said miserably. We were walking and having a discussion. And somehow, I just ended up saying to him, I just blurted out that I loved him!"

Jack was shocked. The English were not the type to freely express their feelings. "And what did he say?"

"He didn't deny that he felt the same way, but he warned me that he was not a free man."

"How did you feel?" asked Jack cautiously.

"I felt elated and crushed at the same time. Here was a man who had admitted he loved me, who I'd just bared my soul to, and yet… he was married. We waited so long, only to have our dreams repeatedly crushed." She shook her head, tears spilling over. "And now it's happened again…"

"Shh…" He said, pulling her into an embrace. He could feel her tears seeping into his jacket. "You and Mr. Bates will overcome it. True, real love can't be stopped. Not love like yours."

She pulled away. "You must think me very weak." She muttered with a watery chuckle, wiping her eyes.

"No, I think you're one of the strongest people I've ever met. Your husband was arrested, he is in prison for a crime he didn't commit. I've seen you cry, but the tears aren't showing weakness. You waited so long to become his wife, you've been so patient, only to have him torn away from you. So, no, I don't think you very weak at all!"

She smiled. A real smile. "Thank you, Jack. I very much appreciate it."

They continued walking, and soon they were at Crawley house. "You wait out here, I'll only be a moment." She said. He stared at his reflection in the window of Crawley house, and knew as he stared, that Rose would recognize him on sight. He looked virtually the same as he had seven years previous. Anna returned a few minutes later. She walked into the post office, and came out a minute later, grinning broadly. "A letter from Mr. Bates!" She said, with a real smile. Then she looked around the small village square, and frowned. Clearly another memory had come to her.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Nothing, I was just- hit with another flashback." She said, shaking her head.

"Anna, it helps to talk about these things."

"I remember, he had left Downton with his first wife, who wanted him back, breaking my heart, it was a few weeks later, and I remember… I was in the village and thought I saw him. I thought I was missing him enough that I was seeing things. But later, when I found him, he told me that it had been him. And now I find myself wishing that he would walk here, just out for a stroll, like the old days."

"Come on." He said, giving her a caring smile. "Do you know if Mrs. Hockley had a reply?"

"Oh yes!" Anna cried, pulling the letter from her pocket. The curved, loopy writing made his heart beat faster, and the sun feel stronger. She handed it to him.

"Tonight, we both have letters we look forward to reading."

"I'm sure." He said, smiling back.

**XxXxXx**

But because of the ball, they both opened their letters at the table in the empty servants' hall. They weren't planning on attending, at least, he knew Anna wasn't. But as Anna skimmed through her letter, her eyes filled with tears. She handed him the letter.

_My dearest Anna, _

_How was the wedding? I would have loved to attend. I hope you are doing all right, and not missing me too much, it's my job to be missing you. I can't get you out of my mind. You are all that's keeping me going right now. About Jack- that certainly is a mystery, I don't understand. Please give him my best, he can help you through this. As usual, I wrote you a poem. It gets me through the darker hours._

_Through the bars, _

_I can see the sky outside, _

_And my heart, _

_Can you feel it reaching, _

_Over the miles between us?_

_Reaching back to you, _

_Over the space, _

_Over the heartbreak, _

_And tears, _

_And I am, _

_Straight in a straight line, _

_Running back to you._

_Don't give up on me. Have fun, live life, smile. And don't forget to write me. Your letters, although you consider them boring, are my life now. _

_I miss you my angel._

_I love you._

_Your darling husband, _

_John_

Jack smiled at Anna. He knew that the letters were strengthening her as much as they were sustaining her husband. He opened his own letter. As he read it over, his heart skipped a beat, then seemed to stop altogether.

_To my friend, _

_I suppose that nothing much gets past you. I did have the baby, on January 15__th__, 1913. It was a baby boy, and I named him… Chippewa Jack Dawson, or Chip for short. He was four pounds when he was born, and he had his father's eyes. I found a couple willing to adopt him. He'll never know who his parents are, or who he really is. His first name is after his father's home town, Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. His middle name is after his father. I don't know where he is now, only that he would be six years old. Please do not think too harshly of me. Cal never found out, and he still doesn't know. I was so afraid, and so alone, I almost committed suicide a few times. But I persevered. Please keep this information to yourself._

_Thank you, _

_Rose Dawson._

Jack looked up at Anna, his mouth open in shock. He was a father. He had a son. Rose had his baby. The letter dropped to the table. Anna was looking at him. "Jack, what's wrong?" She asked.

"I'm a father." He said, stunned.


	10. Chapter 10: Reunion at the Ball

Anna stared at him in shock. "What?!" she gasped. "What do you mean? What's going on?"

"I know that I told you about a girl that I met… On the _Titanic_… And how I also crossed paths with Caledon Hockley and Ruth Dewitt Bukater. That's all I can tell you. I don't know what else to say to explain it."

"Try." She ordered. "We have the ball tonight, and I overheard Mr. Carson telling Mrs. Hughes that you have to be there, that the valet will have to attend. So there's no possible way you'll be able to get out of going. And you'll have to face Mrs. Hockley. I know that you don't want to, but you have to."

Jack looked at her. "You're serious? I actually have to go. They'll obviously know me. Anna, if I'm dead by tomorrow, or have resigned, please don't hold it against Mr. Carson, or Mrs. Hughes. It's not truly their fault."

"Why will you have resigned?"

"I'll have resigned because after tonight, the truth will be out, and no one will want me in the house. Or the village, or even in England. I'll likely end up going home to America."

"But Jack… why is all of this happening?"

"It's… I can't tell you, it wouldn't be right to do so."

"Jack, you owe it to me. You know my story. Tell me yours in return." She pleaded.

Jack reluctantly nodded, but then Mr. Carson ran in. "Mr. Dawson! You need to get upstairs, now! You too, Anna. The guests are arriving as we speak, and we have to be upstairs and greeting them. I assume you've recovered then?"

"Yes, Mr. Carson, that is correct. Let's go." He extended a hand to Anna, and together, they walked up the staircase, and through the green baize door.

**xXxXx**

Mrs. Bird and Mrs. Patmore truly outdid themselves that evening. The feast was spread out on a large table at the side of the ballroom. It was a buffet style, and surrounding the dance floor were small tables, where people could sit and eat. It was a grand affair, but looking around, Jack knew that Anna wasn't there. He had successfully escaped being noticed so far. But then Lord Grantham brought the music to a halt. "My ladies, lords and gentlemen, it is an honor to have you all come and stay. Now, for this next dance, the servants should start us off." He nodded to Mr. Carson, who swept onto the dance floor with Mrs. Hughes. Then Daniel dragged out Daisy, laughing. Mrs. Patmore started dancing with Moseley, and they all looked very dignified. Jack looked around the room, before noticing that Meaghan was standing at the edge of the dance floor. Jack walked over and said. "May I have this dance?"

She blushed, and nodded, then the two of them walked out onto the dance floor. But he had an eerie feeling that Cal was watching him. It was an awful feeling. Then he and Meaghan spun in a circle, and a shout could be heard in the ballroom. A shout…. Of "YOU!"

Jack spun around, terrified. Cal's voice was so loud, that the music stopped, leaving the room in stunned silence. Cal was standing up in outrage. "You!" he repeated. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here, Cal. You know, work, what real people do." He said recklessly. Then someone was flying at him, and he was knocked over by a blur of red and gold. "Jack!" screamed the voice.

He pulled away, and looked down at her in amazement. "Rose?" He said, unable to believe that he was holding her in his arms. In the stunned silence that followed, Anna slid in through the doors. Their eyes met, and hers hardened. She turned away, and fled. He didn't go after her, he was already causing enough of a scene.

"Lord Grantham, why is this man here?" asked Cal angrily, pointing an accusatory finger at Jack.

"He's my valet, and I'd rather you not shout at him." Said Lord Grantham calmly.

"What do you mean? Do you have any idea who he is? What he's done?" asked Cal in outrage.

"I am not aware he's done anything wrong."

"Oh? He hasn't told you about the fact that he once stole a diamond from me, aboard the greatest ship in the world?" he demanded.

"The diamond your valet slipped into my pocket!" Jack burst out angrily. "And you have neglected to tell him that you chased after me and Rose with a gun!"

Muttering broke out at his words. "That is enough." Lord Grantham ordered. "Let the band continue playing. And Cal, as a guest in my house, I ask that you not accuse my valet of crimes he has not committed. Not when we all have skeletons in our closet." Cal sat down again. Jack noticed that for the first time, Ruth Dewitt Bukater was speechless. He pulled away from Rose, feeling his heart break as soon as she was out of his arms. Then he turned, and fled the room.

**XxXxX**

Jack stopped in the dining room, covering his mouth as emotion overwhelmed him. He might dress up, and learn their game, but he wasn't one of them. He choked on a sob, trying to figure out what he had done to deserve this mess. Then suddenly, there was a soft, gloved hand on his shoulder. He turned, hastily wiping the tears away, to find Rose.

"Jack…?" She asked, tears in her eyes. "Is it really you, Jack?"

He looked at her, amazed at what he saw. She was right in front of him, although looking older, she was _right there_. He was staring at her, and she was staring right back. Then her arms were wrapped around him, and he was staring down into her green eyes, tears running down her cheeks. He leaned down, not caring what had happened in their seven years of separation. She moved closer, and then they were pressed together in an embrace. "I thought… I thought…" was all she was able to say.

"I know. I know. It's okay, I'm here now."

She pulled away. "Why didn't you come and find me?"

"I didn't think you'd want me back."

"I almost gave up on you, Jack. But I couldn't let go."

"No… I couldn't have died if you weren't right beside me. You jump, I jump, remember?" He asked her softly.

Then they were both crying, and he leaned down, pressing his lips to hers. Then they were melting into one being, the saltiness of sadness, the bitterness of regret, and the sweetness of reunion all together in one spectacular kiss. Jack forgot what day it was. He forgot where he was, and he forgot his name. Everything else was insignificant now. And once they broke their kiss, they stood there, wrapped in an embrace, dreading the moment when they'd have to let go.

**XxXxX**

After, they sat in the empty dining room, talking as the music played on in the ballroom. But Jack knew that their time together would be brief. They talked about the past seven years, and didn't stop talking until Anna walked in.

"Mr. Dawson?"

He turned around, unsure if it was really Anna. After all, the tone was formal, and she had never addressed him as Mr. Dawson before. "Anna?" he asked, turning around.

"That's Mrs. Bates to you, Mr. Dawson." She said, tightly. But even from where he sat, he could see she wasn't angry, but betrayed and sad.

"What is it?"

"I just thought I should inform you that the ball is coming to an end. If I were you, I'd get back down to the servants' hall. You've caused enough people to talk." She turned and left, and Jack stood, watching her leave.

"That was Anna Smith, wasn't it?" asked Rose. "The housemaid?"

"Yes."

"Why do you look so devastated?"

"I'm upset, because I betrayed her. She's told me everything about her, and she expected me to tell her about you, but I never did."

"Why did she ask you call her Mrs. Bates?"

"Because she's married, and her husband is in prison, unjustly accused of murder."

"So… she's the wife of an accused murderer, and she's still living here? I thought married servants weren't allowed to stay in service?"

"She married his Lordships valet, who was arrested. And considering that Lord Grantham is very fond of Mr. Bates and Anna, and also Anna is good friends with Lady Mary, I'm not surprised they've been allowed to stay in service."

"I see." Said Rose. "And you're friends with Anna, are you?"

"I'm friends with both of them…"

"Resign." She blurted out. "Resign and come with me, we can hide, I've hidden the diamond, we can sell it somewhere-."

"Are you trying to ask me to run away with you?" asked Jack, shocked. "I can't resign! I love working here! And besides, times have changed, you're married now! I'm still classes below you!" he said desperately.

"Look, Jack, are you saying you don't want to?"

"I very much want to, Rose, you have to understand that! And what about our son?"

"You know about our son?" it was Rose's turn to be shocked. "But-how?"

"That mysterious letter-writer. It was me." He confessed.

"You scared me!" She said, irritated, but not really.

"I'm sorry, but I had to know the truth. And I learned the truth."

"You know about Chip… what he represented?"

"He was a symbol of our love. Oh Rose," he said, bringing her closer again. "That must have been so hard for you, so hard to go through."

"It was." She said, the tears evident in her voice. "I thought I'd lost you again. I wish you'd been there Jack, he looked so much like you."

"Really?" asked Jack, amused, and saddened. "Is there any chance of finding our son, and explaining?"

"There might be… I don't know. I know the names of the people who adopted him, and he- would he want us?"

"He might. If it was me-." Jack fell silent. He'd feel abandoned and alone if he knew his mother had given him up. But he knew at the same time, that Rose was protecting herself from further hurt. She had gone back to Cal, to protect the child. Jack shuddered to think of what Cal might have done. Would he have possibly killed the child? Jack wouldn't put it past him. He kissed Rose on the forehead, dreading the moment when he would have to leave her side, but he knew he had to make his way downstairs. So he left her, promising to find her later in the week. He walked downstairs, and into the servants' hall. Only Daisy was down there. "You okay, Mr. Dawson?" she asked.

"I'm fine. But if there's one thing they don't like around here, it's a scandal. And if Rose's relationship with me from seven years ago is anything, it's a scandal."

"There's a bit of cake left, do you want it?" she asked, smiling sympathetically. He knew it was an offering of friendship, and that she was on his side.

"That would be nice. Daisy, you know you can call me Jack, right?" He asked encouragingly.

"Okay… Jack." She rushed off, and came back in, carrying the piece of cake. He ate it slowly, savoring the rare sweetness.

He smiled at Daisy. "I better be off, so that Mr. Carson won't eat me when I get downstairs. Thank you for the cake. Good night." He said, standing up, and walking upstairs. Once he was in his room, his heart started beating faster, and the smile he had been suppressing all night returned with a vengeance. He suddenly couldn't fight the happiness inside of him. He was ecstatic. He was with his one true love again. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he would do what he could. He had told her "You jump, I jump, remember?" And he had meant it. He still meant it.


End file.
